The Half-Wit Family Reunion

Recently, my mom was going through some of my old school papers and she came across something I had written in middle school.  She sent it to me and, after reading it, I’m pretty sure it was a project I did in one of my math classes instead of having to do any actual math problems.  (No wonder I’m terrible at fractions.)  Enjoy!


The Half-Wit Family Reunion


Christian Underwood

This is the story of Jim Half-Wit.  He and his twin brother, Tim Half-Wit were separated at birth.  Jim was raised by his mother Ima Half-Wit and Tim was raised by his father Eura Half-Wit.  The two brothers actually lived 20 1/2 miles apart from each other, but they never knew it until they were older.

In fact, they didn’t even know they had a twin until one day when Ima sat down with Jim and told him the truth.  She told him that he and his brother were born 3 1/2 minutes apart.  Jim weighed 5 1/4 lbs.  Tim weighted 6 3/4 lbs.

After finding out about his Half-Wit brother, Jim was determined to reunite with him.  He asked his mom if she knew anything about where Tim lived.  When she said that she unfortunately had no information on Tim and Eura’s whereabouts, Jim decided to start his search on the Internet.

It took him 3 3/4 months to find the information he needed.  After his search, he realized that his brother and father lived just 20 1/2 miles from him and his mom in a town called Split In Half.  Since he had no phone number for them, he decided to drive the 20 1/2 miles to find the house they lived in on 6 1/2 Street.

As he drove through the town of Split in Half, he realized that all of the houses were split levels, all of the swimming pools were half full, and all of the front doors were only one half painted.  He found this to be rather odd, and as he approached Tim and Eura’s split level house, he realized he was only half sure that he was ready to meet them.

But he had no time to change his mind as he stood at the half opened, (and half painted) front door.  Suddenly, a young man that looked a lot like him was standing on the other side of the door with his mouth half opened.  Jim felt like he was looking into a mirror.

“Are you Tim?” he stuttered.  Tim slowly nodded his head.  Afraid that his brother was about to faint right in front of him, Jim quickly told Tim the story his mother had told him just 3 3/4 months ago.  When he finished, he saw an older gentleman standing just behind Tim.  It was their father, and he was overjoyed to see Jim.  The three of them hugged each other for a long time.  They sat down together and talked for hours.

Jim finally got around to asking Eura and Tim about the odd town they lived in.  That’s when they told him about the legend of Splint In Half.  Eura said that the legend began many years ago when the Native American, Chief Quaterhorse decided to allow his daughter, Pochahalfis to marry the white man, John Split.  Thus, the village of Split In Half was born.  As the years went by, the people of Split in Half always honored the heritage of their founders, by passing down certain customs and characteristics of the town.

After hearing that amazing story, Jim realized even more the importance of family.  He asked his father and brother to come back home with him.  And after several months of visiting together, the Half-Wit family was reunited for good, and no longer “split in half.”



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